anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
