I hate your face
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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