So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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