sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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