Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
