So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
