oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize