I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
