I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize