If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
and you fell through a lawn chair
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
