Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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