I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
