I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
