Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
