i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
