no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
