Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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