sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
