Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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