Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my phone needs a breathalizer
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
