the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
