My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
