I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize