brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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