what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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