Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
