batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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