and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
