Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
did i walk over a car last night?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
