i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
