you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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