After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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