I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
