Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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