No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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