Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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