He is an equal opportunity slut.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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