Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
