Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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