Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
