Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
