it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize