All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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