so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
