if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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