Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ttyl tear gas
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
