he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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