im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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