I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
