So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he wants to bone in the snuggie
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
