Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
