hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize