when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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