dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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