I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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