he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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