listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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