so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
