69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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